What is “true love”? Or, who is my “true love”? It’s a popular phrase and concept that I’m sure you’ve heard. The idea is like this: there is a person out there that you were made for, that you can love and be loved by, who completes you and who will make life wonderful. This romantic love is often held as the highest form of love.
Yet, sadly, there is a greater form of love that many people have difficulty recognising. Much lofty expectation and subsequent hurt could be avoided if this greater love—this real true love—was better known and understood. Jesus said:
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 (ESV)
We know that God is love (1 John 4:8,16). God the Father sent God the Son to die on the cross to save the world (John 3:16). God has personally demonstrated His love for us.
God’s love is true love. It is known as agape love (the word used to describe this love in the original Greek of the New Testament). It is a love based on a decision of the will, rather than on the fickleness of feelings and emotion. It is strong and unwavering. It doesn’t place conditions on the beloved, nor is it dependent on what is received back. It loves for what is best for the other person above self.
God’s agape love flows into our heart and overflows to those around us (1 John 4:19; 1 Thes 3:12). It fills our deep need for love and strengthens us to love others—even the most unlovely. Although sometimes not easy, God helps us to see others with the same heart He sees them with. I’m convinced God loves all mankind the same (Acts 10:34–35), so I try to show that love to others as best I can.
Choosing to love empowers us to refuse to take offence when we are hurt (Pro 19:11). Loving others does make us vulnerable, but we decide to forgive. The feelings follow our decision to love instead of leading it. We also love because God commands it (John 13:34–35). Jesus instructed us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44)!
I was pleasantly surprised with the recent Disney animated movie Frozen. Spoiler warning… it illustrates well the difference between romantic “true love” and sacrificial love. Pay attention to the words the snowman, Olaf, says to Anna towards the end when they are in the castle room with the fireplace.
A potential trap I have found is that we can start to think that God loves us only because He has to, not because He wants to. God also has phileo love for us, that is, affectionate friendship. This is an emotional type of love. Have a look at these passages where phileo love is used: John 11:3, 16:27; Rev 3:19. As Christians, we are part of God’s family and are loved as sons and daughters.
I don’t think a discussion on love can be complete without referencing 1 Cor 13. These are some beautiful words by the Apostle Paul about true love, frequently heard at weddings.
What do you think true love is? Have you experienced it? If you haven’t, I pray God will fill you with His love to overflowing!
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